Textual Intercourse
by DarkBlysse
Summary: Crack fic based on a prompt--'Txt Sex'. Short, funny, and kinda hot, too. Elricest
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Textual Intercourse  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Type:** Yaoi, Crack, AU  
**Pairings:** Ed/Al  
**Warnings:** Written while drunk... beware! D: Elricest.

_**A/N:**_ My friend gave me the prompt 'Txt Sex' and... this is where I took it. But not after first drinking about... 3 or 4 vodka coolers in rapid succession. Nothing else could make it less painful to butcher the English language like I had to in the texts. _

_MtlMan:_ Edward_  
KtnLvr69:_ Alphonse

~~~;~;~;~;~;~;~;~~~

Ed laid back on the couch, stretching out and yawning. He dug his cellphone out of his pocket and flipped it open to check the time. A sigh parted his lips and he frowned slightly. Al was studying at the university and so Ed was left, bored, at their apartment for the day. Wondering just _when_ Al would be home, Ed texted him.

_MtlMan:_ _wil u b home soon?  
KtnLvr69: not 4 a few hrs, sry xoxo_

Again, Ed sighed and laid his cellphone on the coffee table. He wanted Al to come home soon. Not later. Ed stared at the ceiling letting his thoughts bounce around a little, but they kept coming back to his Brother. Was there a way he could get Al to come home sooner... ?

A grin spread over Ed's face as an idea formed in his mind. He knew just how to make Al drop what he was doing and, likely, run home.

Ed quickly undid his belt and unzipped his pants, sliding them down just enough to pull out his cock. He wrapped his hand tightly around it, quickly stroking himself into an erection. Licking his lips, he tilted his head back a little and moved his hand faster, letting pre-come leak out over his fingers.

Panting and flushed, Ed reached over to the table with his free hand and grabbed his phone. He let his eyes close half-way and made sure his back was arched a little. His hand tightened around his cock, his thumb pressing against the head, forcing out more pre-come as he snapped a picture of himself. He looked at the screen and couldn't help but chuckle at just how slutty he'd managed to make himself look.

This _had_ to work...

_MtlMan:_ _plz cum home Al_

Ed sent the picture to Al and continued to stroke his erection slowly, almost lazily, as he waited for Al's reply.

_KtnLvr69: O_O b home rite away_

Ed smirked and put his arms behind his head. He could only imagine the look that had been on Al's face when he'd seen the picture. And he couldn't wait for what Al would inevitably do to him when he got home.

~~~;~;~;~;~;~;~;~~~

_**A/N:**_ Blame my drunken self for Al's text name. Krunk gets full credit for Ed's name, though. Also, thanks to Krunk and Kang for teaching me how texting works. XD I've never used a cellphone in my life, so... I would've been boned had it not been for you two.


	2. Chapter Two

**Title:** Textual Intercourse, Chapter Two

**Type:** Yaoi, AU, PWP  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Pairing:** Elricest  
**Summary:** Al gets a little payback at Ed for his... _creative_ text messaging.  
**Warnings:** Smut, Elricest

_**A/N:**_ Well, since enough of you asked me to continue this... here it is! XD; Sorry it took so long, guys! Dx *Fails at updating.*

~~~;~;~;~;~;~;~;~~~

Edward straightened up from where he was on the couch, cocking his head to the side as he heard some sort of commotion outside of the apartment door. He zipped up his pants--he'd had them open, still, from when he'd sexted* Alphonse earlier, since it was just more comfortable, honestly--and made his way into the hallway.

Standing on his toes, he looked through the peep-hole to see his brother struggling with his keys while holding a large stack of books that looked ready to fall to the floor at any moment. Before Al could drop the anything, Ed unlocked the door and opened it, leaving Al to stare at the door in confusion for a few moments before seeing Ed and realizing what had happened.

Al's eyes locked with Ed's for a few seconds and Ed tilted his head slightly, thinking he saw a glint of... _something_ in his brother's eyes. But before the thought had even vanished from his mind, Alphonse had shut the door behind him and dumped his books right onto the floor.

"Al, what're you--"

Ed was cut off when Al's hands pressed to his shoulders, pushing him into the wall hard enough for his breath to catch in his chest for a moment. His next breath came in as a loud gasp when Al's hips pressed against his and he felt Al's erection firm against his groin. As soon as Ed tried to speak again, Al connected their lips in a heated kiss, his tongue forcing its way into Ed's mouth.

Both boys moaned into the kiss, Alphonse's louder and Ed's more confused, and Al started to grind his hips into Ed's. Panting, Ed broke the kiss and leaned his head back against the wall, eyes slightly wide as he looked at his brother. He'd never seen Al like this before. Then again... he'd never sent him a picture like that before, either. Obviously, it had affected Al, and Ed wasn't going to complain at all about his current situation.

"Were you waiting for me to come home, Brother?" Al breathed out into Ed's ear, tongue flicking out and licking along the shell. "You looked so... _so _slutty in that picture, Ed, like you couldn't wait for me to get back." Al paused and started to bite at Ed's neck roughly. "So I rushed home, to help... give you a hand."

Al smirked and pressed the butt of his palm against Edward's clothed erection, grinding for a few seconds before he moved to undo Ed's pants, pulling them down off his hips. Edward groaned softly at the cool air of the room and his cock twitched, precum dripping down its length. Al stroked Ed's cock, coating his fingers in precum before pressing a finger against Ed's ass and easing it in. Ed's head tilted back against the wall and he spread his legs, hands bracing on the wall behind him.

"_Al..._" Ed moaned, licking his lips and rocking his hips, forcing Al's finger deeper each time he moved. Alphonse quickly added a second finger, slowly scissoring and splaying them to stretch Ed open. Whimpering, Ed's hips moved faster, trying to encourage Al to move faster.

As soon as he caught on to what Ed wanted, Al pulled his fingers out of him, brushing over his prostate to tease him. His hands grasped at Ed's thighs, lifting Edward up and hooking his legs around his waist as he pushed him into the wall, letting it support his weight as he quickly undid his own pants, sliding them down. Ed let out an unsteady cry, blushing slightly when he felt Al's erection rubbing against his ass. Al's hands went to Ed's hips, holding him still as he lined himself up, then, with one quick snap of his hips, thrust inside of him. Edward cried out, trembling as he was filled so suddenly.

"_F-Fuck_, Al!" he bit out, gasping for breath.

Alphonse grinned and leaned in, biting roughly along Ed's throat and collarbones and making more pleasured noises and curses spill out over Edward's lips as he started to thrust into him. Ed's legs tightened around Alphonse and he arched his neck, pressing up against his brother's teeth with a low moan.

Al pulled back slightly, letting his eyes flit over his brother's flushed features. Ed's mouth hung open, drawing in heavy breaths, some catching in his throat when Al would thrust in deeper; his hair was mussed and falling haphazardly over his shoulders, bangs sticking to his face as sweat started to bead over his skin. Every so often, one of Ed's soft cries would spill out louder than he'd intended, hips snapping down harder against Al's. For the briefest of moment's Edward's appearance nearly matched that of the photo he'd sent Al. But just as quickly, his noises grew louder, face tinting to a darker shade of red, only making him look even more breathtaking.

"Brother!" Al moaned, gritting his teeth.

Alphonse's hands tightened their grip and he pulled Edward down into his thrusts, angling his hips and trying to hit his prostate. A flicker of a grin tugged at Al's lips when Ed cried out and thrashed, head tossing to the side. Whimpering, the movements of his hips grew more exaggerated, pushing up high as his lust-darkened eyes locked with Al's, begging for more.

One of Al's hands slid in along Ed's hipbone, stopping to rub and tease for a moment, making Edward whine and writhe more in his grasp. Alphonse smirked at Ed's impatience and took his cock in his hand, fingers squeezing tight as he started to stroke in time with his thrusts to Ed's prostate.

"_Ah, Alphonse_!!" Ed shouted, more and more precum dripping down his length as Al's movements grew rougher, gradually losing their rhythm.

Suddenly, Ed's head snapped back into the wall, his back arching sharply as he came over Al's hand. Al gasped and shuddered as Edward clenched tightly around him in his release and he kept thrusting hard, more cum spurting out with each thrust. Biting down on Ed's shoulder to muffle his cry, Al came inside of Ed, hips not stilling until he was completely spent.

Panting, Alphonse pulled out of Ed and gently eased him down the wall, kneeling in front of him as he tried to catch his breath.

"Fuck..." Ed said breathlessly, running a shaking hand through his bangs. "C-Could have warned me a little, Alphonse..." He paused, then, shrugging to himself and relaxing back against the wall more. "Though I can't complain, it _did_ get you home sooner," he laughed, earning a punch to his shoulder from Al.

~~~;~;~;~;~;~;~;~~~

*= I had to use that word... When else will I _ever_ have the chance to refer to 'sexting' in a fic? XDD

And omg, I missed writing pr0n so much! D: It's been ages. Bad Blysse, bad! XD;


End file.
